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church text mesage

Hahahahaha!! I just can't
stop laughing. This
is the awkward Truth
About some husbands.
A group of men gathered
at a church
conference on how to
live in a loving
relationship with their
wives. The men were
asked, "How many of
you love your wife ?" All
the men raised their
hands. Then they were
asked, "When was the
last time you told your
wife you love her ?"
Some men answered
today, some yesterday,
majority didn’t
remember. The men
were then told to take
their cell phones and
send the following text
to their respective wives:
I love you,
sweetheart...
Then the men were told
to exchange their
phones so one can read
the other wife's reply
to the love message.
Here are some of the
replies:
1. Have you impregnated
someone again
2. That was then, not
now
3. You wan borrow
money abi?
4. What did you do
again? I won’t forgive
you
this time.
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming?
8. If you don’t tell me
who this message is
actually for, you will die
today!
9. U dis man!! I asked
you to stop drinking.
10. Abeg na who be this?

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UNDER MAINTENANCE
AKPOS JOKES
Akpos a Ghanian, jst got
admission into 1 of d
nigerian institutions, at d
1st day of lecture the
following conversation
erupts.......
Lecturer(a female); lets
bgin by reviewing xum
nigerian history, Who
said "I shall return to die
in d land of my fathers?"
she saw a sea of blank
faces xcept 4 akpos who
had his hand up,
Akpos; "KING JAJA OF
OPOBO 1875"
Lecturer; "very good"
who said " The land use
act will feed the nation?"
Again, no response xcept
frm akpos "Obasanjo
1976" The lect snapped @
d class " class u shud b
ashamed akpos who is
new to our country
knows our history dan U
do" the lecturer heard
aloud whisper "GHANA
MUST GO" who said d@
she demanded, Akpos;
"Buhari 1984" @ d@ point
a student @ d back of d
class scornfully said
"Hmm u think u r smart"
d lecturer glared n asked
"All right!, Now who said
d@?" akpos said
"Babangida to Abiola
1992" Hmmmm a
student @ d back smiled
n said " i dey laugh
ooow" Akpos smiled
back n said "Obasanjo to
Atiku 2001", Now furious
anoda student yelled; "Oh
yeah!, Eat this" akpos
smiled n replied "Indian
mistress to Abacha 1998"
Now wiv almost mob
hyseria xum1 said "U little
poo, if u say anytin again
i ll kill U" akpos frantically
yelled @ d top of his
voice "Chris uba to Ngige
2004" d lecturer fainted,
as d class gathered
around her on d floor,
xum1 said "Oh poo,
we're in Big trouble nw"
akpos whispered
"chimaroke Nnamani,
Ayodele Fayose n Lucky
Igbinedion 2007" xum2
angrilly said "Dnt ans him
he is a fool" Akpos smiled
n said " Obasanjo to IBB
2011" Now, d lecturer
managed to get up n
asked akpos "Who are u
show yourself..........
Akpos jumped n said
"Jonathan to BOKO
HARAM 2012"

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